2025-11-27
Well, it looks as though the WHO may be right about the next pandemic, at any rate if you believe the latest attempt to scare us witless that our children will shortly be dying in numbers due to ... well I never, a pandemic!
Happily "our government" is on the ball already, and has been running "Project Pegasus" planning exercise to sort out our preparedness, just in case there might be another pandemic.
"Exercise Pegasus was designated a “Tier 1” national emergency exercise, meaning it involved ministerial participation, all devolved nations and activation of COBRA, the Cabinet Office Briefing Room"
It's unclear as yet whether the familiar trusted names (Prof Ferguson, Boris Johnson, Matt Hancock, Patrick Vallance et al) would be available this time around, but I do hope so! If these pandemics are to be a regular occurrence, than we need the experienced team to see us through. I have no doubt that somebody somewhere is already checking out emergency procedures for the provision of PPE so that "trusted suppliers" can be appropriately fast-tracked past the usual bureaucratic delays.
Would Christmas be cancelled?
Would kids be locked down for grandparental safety?
Would the safety of NHS staff dictate that grandparents be denied doctors' visits and locked in their "care homes"?
Would we all be instructed once more in the need for standing up and sitting down, following the arrows 2 metres apart and paying by cashless tap to avoid spreading death and destruction in supermarkets pubs and restaurants, and indeed in playschools this time around? It was so exciting to see the kids sitting quietly apart in well-marked squares last time, and learning that "discipline defeats danger"!
Would all "non-essential" businesses like gyms and dog-walkers, coffee shops hairdressers and independent retailers be shut up again?
Would a vaccine be available in time to save the world? Now that the marvellous mRNA technology has been proven worldwide, it should be simple enough to get a new version rolled out soon enough. Purists will doubtless complain about a "lack of testing", but we can have every confidence in the pharmaceutical industry to pull out all the stops and supply our needs in double-quick time - after all, they've done it before!
Would funeral directors once more be pulling weird fibrous "clots" from the deceased?
Would we fall for it all over again? Well, some timid souls are still wearing masks from last time around ...
But perhaps the main question should be whether or not "our NHS" would have adequate supplies of not-the-Liverpool-Care-Pathway drugs to ensure that victims can have a "dignified end". Would the necessary questions be asked in Parliament?
Would there be adequate supplies of PPE, automated injection pumps, and importantly, disposable coffins?
And would the Police instigate "operation Tally Ho!" to put a stop to the time-wasting pedants who complain that many of the pandemic measures are unlawful?
I'll stop there, although there are of course other matters that should be attended to, including mass-testing of the asymptomatic population to create adequate numbers of "cases" to feed the press once the reported deaths tail off; and not excluding Baroness Hallett's availability for the ensuing inquiry that will definitely be required to bypass the questions of neurotic conspiracy theorists.
And finally but most pressingly, would we get a nice crisp name for this new emergency? I'm sure we can do better than "Enteroviral pandemic". "Covid" was short and snappy, and caught the public imagination ... how about we take our cue from Project Pegasus and shorten it down to, for example, "Pegadoom"?"
Remember, you heard it here first 😎!
